Cabin in the City

Books, cats and midwestern charm.

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30 Days of Thanks 2024 // Week 1

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I’ll admit it: This week doesn’t make me want to jump up and down with gratitude. Life feels unbearably heavy, and the dread I feel thinking about the political landscape over the next four years is insurmountable. I know that feeling is shared by (and is so much more pronounced for) others. Know that I feel the difficulty of this moment and those to come acutely.

That all being said, I know there is still a lot of good to be cherished in the world (Tammy Baldwin will still be representing Wisconsin in the senate!). To help me put one foot in front of the next in terms of gratitude, I’m going to continue a November tradition of mine: the @positivelypresent Gratitude Challenge.

Since 2018, I’ve dedicated space on this blog to reflect on the year with this gratitude series. As hard as this moment is, I don’t want to stop now. I know there are still wonders to behold and moments to be grateful for. So let’s start.

Day 1: Comfort

In hard times, in busy times, in times when you need some rest, take your comforts where you can get them. Lately, those comforts have been very literal (like finding a pair of very cushy Allbirds shoes at Nordstrom Rack), but sometimes those comforts are nice routines like picking up a mint mocha and taking a minute to read. I try not to let these small treats to myself go unnoticed.

Day 2: Animals

Each year I am thankful for our pets. I still am! But this year, I want to extend my feelings to Daisy, my mom’s cat. After my mom passed away, there was a lot of discussion about what would happen with Daisy. My dad wasn’t up to keeping her, but we all wanted her to have a good home.

I’m very grateful to my aunt who took Daisy in. I’m so glad that Daisy is still part of our family, and that I get to see her whenever I visit (even if she never wants to sit by me).

Day 3: Time

A thousand years wouldn’t be long enough to spend with the people you love, but I’m grateful for every minute I spent with those I love best this year (especially my mom).

Also a major thanks to my friend Brianna of Alternative Bride Photography. She gave a major gift of her time to make lovely photos like the one above happen.

Day 4: Routine

I have off every Friday with my current job. It allowed me to create a routine, for a while at least, of visiting my parents every Friday.

Until my mom died, I spent Friday afternoons playing cribbage with them. While this routine didn’t last as long as I hoped, I’m really grateful that I got this time to enjoy with both of them.

Day 5: Hope

This year has been so so hard. But expecting a baby is giving me a lot of hope for what is to come.

Day 6: Weather

This summer, I had one mission: to float on a raft in an outdoor pool with a good book. That was it!

To make this happen (and to get some much-needed time away from work), Michael and I went on a short trip to Lake Geneva. While it was a pretty rainy trip overall, I’m so grateful the weather held out enough for me to check a good float off my list. I’m also very grateful for taking the trip in general. It was a really good way to spend some time together.

Day 7: Creativity

After my mom passed, I really struggled with creativity. Without my mom around, who was I going to make things for? Who would I talk crafts with? Who would look at what I made with such kind eyes?

But having a baby on the way has re-energized that part of me. After the tiresome work of the first trimester, I felt really excited to tackle all kind of baby sewing projects, like burp cloths, a receiving blanket, and a small patchwork quilt.

Making will never be the same without my mom here, but she definitely still inspires me. I’m grateful that her spirit is never far!

Day 8: Growth

I’ve found a certain amount of calm in surrendering to the physical changes of pregnancy. So much of the process is beyond my control, including the size of my belly and how much rest I need. I’m grateful that during this stage of life, I can just sit back and be grateful for what on its way.

I’ll be keeping up with this series all November long. Stay tuned, and please share what you’re grateful for in the comments.

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A Baby Is Brewing!

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There’s definitely magic in the air over here! We’re expecting a baby this December.

We’ll be keeping our baby off the internet, but I couldn’t help sing the praises of my incredible family (in particular my sister-in-law Kate) for putting a Halloween-themed shower together. Also I have to shout out my girl Brianna of Alternative Bride Photography for doing the most by being a great friend and a rock star behind the camera.

After an incredibly difficult year, it is a joy to feel so much love.

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The Best Scary Podcasts for October and Beyond

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I’ve got a few seasonal reads lined up for this month (and here are some of my favorite spooky reads of all time), but I’ve been spending a bit more time with podcasts lately as I tackle projects around the house.

Back in 2018, I assembled this list of Halloweeny podcasts, but there are more amazing listens out there than ever! Here are more creepy listens to get you into the Halloween spirit:

Spooked

To me, Spooked, hosted by Glynn Washington, is the gold standard of scary podcasts. Glynn opens each show up with a haunting rhyme or story of his own, and then sets up people to tell their terrifying tales. These range from classic hauntings to odd premonitions to unexplained sightings.

The production on this podcast is phenomenal. There is no obvious (or irritating) interviewing, and the stories are all punctuated by the perfect creepy sounds.

If you ask me, these are the episodes you should start with (though all are worth your while:

  • Lost in Time (this is my favorite podcast episode of all time!)
  • The Paperboy
  • Take Me Home

The Midnight Library

This podcast is a little kooky and I love it. The Midnight Library is led by a fictional host and maybe-witch Miranda Merrick as she dives into real history about the unusual and supernatural.

As you listen, you’ll get to know some of the ancillary characters like Mr. Darling, a werewolf, and Irma the demon. It’s very Addams Family-meets-Stuff You Missed in History Class.

Here are some of my favorite episodes:

My Victorian Nightmare

Folks in the Victorian era were absolute freaks — and I love it. In My Victorian Nightmare, host Genevieve Manion walks you through some of the creepy history of the era, like people’s strange obsession with vampires, deadly fashion trends (no, not corsets!), and seances.

Ghost Church

I find the rise of spiritualism super fascinating. How did three teenage sisters from Rochester, New York give rise to a whole movement of seances and communing with the dead? It’s wild!

Spiritualism in its current form is also wild! In Ghost Church, Jamie Loftus explores what the spiritualist faith looks like today. She travels to Cassadaga, speaks with mediums, and tries to get in touch with what makes it all so appealing (plus history!).

This is limited series, so I recommend you listen to every episode. And then listen to Jamie’s other projects like Aack Cast.

And if you’re looking for some single listens, here are some of my favorite scary season episodes from non-spooky podcasts:

You’re Wrong About

You’re Wrong About is a great podcast anytime of year. In it Sarah Marshal (and once-upon-a-time Michael Hobbes) and a guest dig into topics we think we know all about but definitely do not. It’s thoughtful, it’s funny — what more could you want?

Here are my favorite scary-adjacent episodes:

You Are Good

You Are Good is also co-hosted by Sarah Marshall. She just does podcasting right, IMO. In this series, she and her co-host walk dissect favorite movies along with a guest. It’s a simple premise, but I find Sarah and her insights so endearing.

Here are some episodes I love about scary (or sort-of scary) movies:

Happy haunting and happy listening, all! May your Halloween be spooky and delightful!

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What to Say (and Not Say) at a Funeral

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My mom died back in March. In mid-April, my family held her funeral. It was obviously terrible, but it was also really comforting and healing. I am so grateful to many of my mom’s friends and some loved ones of my own for coming to pay their respects and to check on my family.

Despite being really, really hard, so many folks shared so many thoughtful words and stories. I treasure those moments as I grieve.

With this all in mind, I want to share what I found most touching and helpful at my mom’s service (and honestly at others I’ve attended too).

What to Say at a Funeral

  • “I remember when…” I love to hear memories. If you have a heartfelt, goofy or just plain nice story, please share it with the family as you work your way through the receiving line.
  • “They were such a great…” Tell someone what an amazing person the deceased was. Were they a wonderful listener? A fun coworker? A first-rate gardener? Terrific at mixing a Tom Collins? These remarks can help remind you how incredible your loved one was—or can even give you some unknown insight into their talents or character.
  • “You remind me of them.” The highest compliment I could ever be paid.

What to Do at a Funeral

  • Bring a treat or gift. My friend Gina brought me a chocolate croissant during my mom’s visitation. She had it packaged up to take home to enjoy later. My friend Katie dropped off a card with a grocery store gift card. These gifts were really appreciated (and they were super useful to keep me fortified the day-of and days after).
  • Send flowers. When in doubt, send flowers. They are a visual reminder of your support (plus my mom loved plants).
  • Make a donation. Some families may suggest donations can be made to a particular cause to honor the deceased. This is a great way to show your respects. If a family hasn’t chosen any certain organization, choose one you support or one you think the deceased would appreciate (provided it’s not political or religious in a way the deceased wouldn’t like; this is not the time to rile up a family). Great options always include humane societies, libraries, environmental causes and food pantries.
  • Write a card. Sometimes funerals and receiving lines are busy. If you have words to share, write them down! They’re a nice token to revisit later.

What Not to Say at a funeral

Even though most came to the funeral with kind intentions, there were still some more challenging conversations. I know that death is hard. I know funerals can be uncomfortable, but here are a few things to just not get into at a visitation or service (besides the obvious topics to avoid in polite conversation):

  • “How did they die?” This one really stung. Someone walked up to me and said, “Oh I thought your mom was sick or something was wrong. What happened, and how did she die?” I understand the curiosity, especially when someone isn’t particularly old, but please, do not ask (or at least do not ask the family). It’s really painful to rehash the details of someone’s physical decline in the midst of an extremely difficult day.
  • “They weren’t looking so great.” Trust me: A grieving person knows this. They know that their loved one wasn’t feeling or looking their best. Do not point this out. It does nothing to console. It’s insensitive and insulting.
  • Any comments about the appearance of the deceased. My mom was cremated, so there was no viewing. However, I’ve been at many a funeral with an open casket. Don’t make any remarks on how a person looks. Don’t say they don’t look good. Don’t say they look peaceful. Don’t say they look like they just fell asleep. Even if the words are honest, they aren’t always ready to be received. And under no circumstance comment on how the deceased doesn’t look good. Please.
  • Any critical comments about the visitation, viewing, service, eulogy, etc. Didn’t like the songs? Wish there were more photos? Thought the service was long? Keep it all to yourself. The people that organized the day are sad, they are struggling and they are doing their best. Good vibes only.

Depressing? You bet! But I hope this is helpful to people trying to support friends in need.

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Mom

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It’s been a few weeks, but it feels unreal that my mom is gone. The brightest light in my life has gone out.

After battling brain cancer for three years, my mom passed away on March 23, 2024. This isn’t something I’ve shared much about, though it’s occupied my mind every minute of the day since her diagnosis.

Despite a really terrible prognosis, my mom did so much since her surgery back in February 2021 and all the subsequent treatments and therapy sessions. She traveled to Maine, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon and all across Wisconsin. She celebrated her 40th wedding anniversary in spectacular style (and her 41st too!). My mom gained a daughter-in-law. She attended comedy and drag shows. She shopped so many craft fairs and street festivals. She played countless games of cribbage and cards. My mom did so much.

And she continued to love us all as well. When my mom finally woke up after a long recovery, she knew my dad, my family and me. She made us all feel incredibly loved, and that’s something I’ll carry with me forever.

It’s been a really tough few weeks since losing my mom, so even though I could write about her for the rest of my life, I’ll leave you all with her obituary:

Nancy Ann (Michalek) Kaminski passed away March 23, 2024 surrounded by her loving family. Nancy was born to Norma (Brannan) Michalek on March 10, 1956 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

From an early age, Nancy had a knack for creating. As a girl she spent weekends sewing with her grandmother. Nancy would practice this skill for decades to come. She worked at a seamstress at Gimbels and continued to sew throughout her life. Nancy made clothing and costumes for her children, altered clothing for friends and family, stitched up projects to decorate her home, and made plenty of scrub jackets, surgical caps, and masks for the many doctors and nurses she worked with throughout her careers.

Nancy also happily spent countless hours in the kitchen, a passion she inherited from her mother. Those lucky enough to know Nancy surely indulged in many of her baked goods and wonderful dinners. Nancy’s talents gained her recognition in the form of Wisconsin State Fair ribbons, an article in The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, and plenty of requests to share her recipes (which she did happily).

Beyond crafting and baking, Nancy enjoyed her garden. She had a special love for beautiful flowers, vegetables, and herbs. Hardly a summer day went by without Nancy pulling out just one more weed before she ran out to spend time with family and friends.

Because Nancy never liked to sit still, she filled any spare time she could with games of cribbage with her husband Allen, traveling, bumming with her sisters and daughters, and volunteering at Ascension Columbia-St. Mary’s.

What Nancy was most known for, however, was her warmth, kind heart, and infectious laugh. These qualities made Nancy an incredible wife, sister, mother, grandmother, and friend.

Nancy is survived by her husband of nearly 42 years, Allen; sisters Debby and Mary Michalek; children James, Charles, Chad Kowalewski (Katie), Heather Kowalewski, Angela, and Lisa (Michael Stock); and grandchildren Benjamin and Anna Kowalewski. She is further survived by many, many friends.

Nancy is loved beyond measure and will be deeply missed by all those who knew her.

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On Having Traditions Just for You

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Package of coffee from Stone Creek Coffee, a Kindle, an iced coffee and a small quiche on a table

I hold so many traditions — particularly holiday traditions — close to my heart. Every year, Michael and I stir up a batch of Irish cream together, we share oplatki with my in-laws every Christmas Eve (a nod to our Polish roots) and watch all the Bob’s Burgers Christmas episodes during winter break.

But as important as it is to share these annual rituals, I’d argue it’s just as important to have a few traditions that are for just you. These don’t need to be time-consuming or major, they just need to be comforting.

I’ve found having some solo traditions can be very grounding during tough times, can provide much-needed stillness during busy seasons and bring joy because you deserve a little magic, too.

Here are the Christmastime traditions that I hold just for myself:

Christmas Wrapping

I love wrapping gifts. Picking the paper, finding pretty bows (less so now that we have a curious kitten at home) and nestling all the packages under the tree.

But the tradition here is not the wrapping, it’s the when. Since I’ve been young, I don’t allow myself to wrap a gift until December 1. It’s a good way to kick off the Christmas season — and it can help put me in the spirit when I may not be quite ready.

A Holiday Coffee Stop

Don’t get me wrong: I will stop and get regular mint mochas from Thanksgiving to the New Year, but once a season, I’ll slow down and take myself on a coffee date—often as a reward for finishing up holiday shopping or baking.

This typically happens on a Saturday morning shortly before Christmas. I like to hit up Stone Creek Coffee, order a nice coffee, pick up a bag of their seasonal Bumble roast (a treat I like to share with the family on Christmas morning) and settle in with a book for a short while.

Watching White Christmas

I didn’t grow up watching this Christmas classic, but it’s a film that’s fully ingrained itself in my holiday season as an adult.

And it’s a movie I’ve never watched alongside anyone. I’ve always enjoyed White Christmas solo on a snowy afternoon or during an evening wrapping gifts. It’s such a lovely movie and one that makes me weep every time.

Holiday Baking

This is a tradition that is close to me no matter who is in the kitchen. I like to bake with my mom whenever I can. I also had a fabulous time baking cookies with my nephews and sister-in-law last December.

But I always enjoy taking some time to bake on my own during the holidays. While I love making pioneer molasses cookies and spritz with my mom, I have a few bakes I always make on a just-me day in the kitchen: chocolate-almond mandelbrot, white fruitcake (it is delicious) and babka.

Christmas Crafts

Crafting might just be my favorite part of Christmas—especially when paired with a Christmas movie or Christmas audiobook. Every year I tackle a project or two—sometimes for gifting, sometimes just for fun.

A few years back, I was in Christmas cross-stitch mode. Last year, I sewed zippered pouches for most of my family. This year, I made woven star ornaments (a project I’d bookmarked at least two years ago). At the end of the season, I never regret being up to my elbows in thread.

It might be late in the season, but I hope you still find some time for yourself!

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Hey, DSHA!

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A few weeks ago, I announced my departure from Taste of Home. After six years, I knew it was time to pursue other opportunities.

I’m happy to report that I’ve taken on the role of Digital Marketing Director at Divine Savior Holy Angels High School.

This is a major shift for me! I’ve spent my entire career in writing-centric roles. This role will, of course, include writing, but it encompasses so much more. And I’m really excited to be part of a smaller team and to work for an organization that supports young women.

And yes, even though I haven’t been in school for more than 10 years, all those first-day-of-school feelings were present walking inside for my first day (and I did take the obligatory first day of school photo)! I am doing my very best not to go overboard with new office supplies—but if you know me, you know that’s incredibly hard to do.

Here’s to new beginnings!

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30 Days of Thanks 2023 // Week 5

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Welcome to the last installment of 2023’s gratitude series. Following these prompts is immensely helpful to me, and I hope you’ve taken some time to look back on your year with fondness as well.

Day 25: Comfort

I’m wonderfully lucky to have a spouse who values creature comforts and cozy times as much as I do.

Each Sunday, Michael and I make coffee and enjoy an episode of SNL or Bob’s Burgers or something equally as silly along with the cats. This is one ritual that we’ve kept up for years. It’s a small one, but one that’s incredibly comfy and one I’m grateful for.

Day 26: Fun

While Michael and I planned a lot of our trip to Ireland—including touring the Cliffs of Moher, kayaking Dalkey Bay and seeing some James Joyce hot spots—we left plenty of space for wandering and taking in the sights as we saw fit.

On an open-ended evening in Dublin, we checked out The Brazen Head. At the pub, we made friends with a few folks from Germany, Norway and Ireland. That night, we all laughed, danced and saw a part of Dublin that was off the beaten path (though what is pictured above is on a very well-beaten path). It was tremendously fun, and a part of our trip I’ll never forget.

Day 27: Dreams

This year, we made a lot of our dreams come true. Michael and I managed not only to travel to Ireland (a dream years in the making) but also remodel part of our home. I landed a new job too!

All these dreams took time—and much more time than I ever anticipated. I think this waiting was definitely a lesson for me. But no matter the timeframe, I’m so happy and grateful so many dreams came true in 2023.

Day 28: Happiness

I have so many moments of happiness to be grateful for this year, but this photo seems to encapsulate a feeling of unexpected joy.

This was taken in Nashville at the Gallery of Iconic Guitars. I visited back in February as part of a press trip. Now, I’m not a guitarist by any stretch of the imagination (yes, even though I got an A in my guitar course in college 1,000 years ago), but it was so much fun to play around a bit. This trip was full of so many unexpectedly wonderful moments like visiting the Grand Ole Opry, eating at Chauhan Ale and Masala House and catching live music, well, pretty much everywhere.

Day 29: Family

I am so grateful for my nearest and dearest. They make life fun and interesting and rich and warm.

I get an extra dose of this each summer when my mom, sisters, aunts and I visit northern Wisconsin. We spend the week gossiping, playing games, eating great food and floating in the pool. It truly doesn’t get better.

Day 30: Growth

I spent so much of this year thinking about work. I can’t stand that it occupied so much of my mental space, but here’s a little background on why that was:

As the year dawned, I felt excited to take on more work on Taste of Home’s print edition. When spring came, there were major shifts that eliminated so many parts of my job that I loved. I spent the summer searching for new careers in publishing.

But when fall arrived, I realized that my heart didn’t lie in the publishing or food spaces anymore. Recognizing that shift within myself was really significant for me.

So even though I will miss many aspects of my old job, I’ve grown beyond it and hope to grow even more in my new role (more later!). Even though the journey was challenging, I’m grateful for where it took me.

Thanks for keeping up with this series. I appreciate you for reading!

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30 Days of Thanks 2023 // Week 4

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It’s Thanksgiving week. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday full of good food and a bit of relaxing.

Day 18: Rest

I’m so thankful that I get to take a bit of time between jobs.

While I’m planning to tackle some tasks around the house (like deep cleaning pre-Christmas and painting our bedroom), I’m also planning to unwind with some Great British Bake Off and Ru Paul’s Drag Race UK. I’m thankful that I’m able to take a little rest before rolling into the holiday and a new job.

Day 19: Laughter

One of my favorite parts of working for Taste of Home was writing print headlines. Typically the more niche ones never made it out of brainstorming meetings—with the exception of this one.

This one from the October/November 2023 issue is the peak of my headline writing career—even better than “The Way We Stir” for a mixer review. I’m thankful to Rachel and Annamarie for humoring me so often (and for letting this one go to print).

Day 20: Seasons

I’m doing my best right now to appreciate all seasons of life. Some seasons are for growth or change or worry or joy. “To everything, there is a season,” as they say.

And this photo is Michael’s pumpkin from Halloween. We had snow, and it was delightful!

Day 21: Color

We ditched our green carpet earlier this year. I had a lot of feelings about it.

In the end, though, ridding ourselves of some very old, very green carpet did very little in terms of draining color from our home. I think our home is as colorful as always—maybe more so! We have a lovely orange rug now, more art than ever and a fresh green bathroom. I love that our home is so vibrant.

Day 22: Technology

This year, I’ve been craving being online less. I’ve realized that the internet doesn’t have as much to offer me. Instead, I’ve been trying to focus on more analog activities, like stitching, quilting and reading. It’s been good for me.

So let’s just say I’m thankful for technology, but just as grateful to be drawing some healthy boundaries for myself with it.

Day 23: Home

2023 was a big year for our home! This year we finally got to remodeling our bathroom and stairwell (and by we I mean 95% hired professionals and 5% Michael and myself).

It is a major change and it has totally improved our life here. Our bathroom is stunning and functional. Our steps are no longer a death trap. In fact, they’re now a beautiful focal point when you walk in the door.

Thank you to Pekel Construction & Remodeling and the team of talented craftspeople who made this all happen. And a special shoutout to Jerry from Jerry’s Tile who who did phenomenal work and got the job done right and to Jen from Colorwheel Painting who took such care with our home.

Day 24: Inspiration

This July, Michael and I visited Ireland, and it was better than I ever thought possible. This trip hit on all the marks for me: nature, city, relaxation, adventure and learning. It also was incredibly inspiring. I came home from Ireland with plenty of creative energy and inspiration.

This trip took some time to tackle (we were originally planning on summer 2020), but it was absolutely worth the wait. I’m so thankful we were finally able to go and that our time there has provided us both with inspiration galore.

I’ll be keeping up with this series for the rest of the month. Stay tuned and please join in if you’re so inclined!

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A New Look for Cabin in the City

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I’ve been craving freshness lately. That means a new job (I just left Taste of Home after six years!), a deep clean of the house, new paint in the bedroom and now a new blog theme!

It’s been nine years since I started this site, and an update was very much overdue. This new theme is from Code + Coconut, and I’m really happy with it. It’s been so easy to customize with colors and fonts. I’ll probably be futzing with it for a bit longer, but I’m so happy with the change!