Cabin in the City

After a few episodes of Tidying Up, I decided I was going to KonMari my life. I was 100% on board. I bought the book. I told everyone I knew about the life-changing magic of Marie Kondo. I picked a day to kick the project off. I was in it.

Kicking Off KonMari

I was so jazzed about the first step of tidying up (going through clothing), that I started two days early. Snowed in on a Saturday morning, I took all the clothing out of my closet and the coat closet and heaped it on my bed. I was already embarrassed for myself and I hadn’t even emptied out my two dressers yet (yes, two – totally shameful).

I knew I had to commit, though, so I pulled everything out. It was pretty horrifying. But I decided to jump in and ask myself if each item brought me joy. My Jessica Lange-esque witch dress? Absolutely. All joy. My new winter coat from my sister? So much joy. The skirt I wore as Bonnie Parker last Halloween? Not really. Thanks for helping me make a costume. Bye.

Hitting a Roadblock

After 90 minutes of sorting (that’s on top of about an hour of just pulling stuff out of storage), I was having a hard time. Did a pair of sweats bring me joy? I mean, they were cozy. Is coziness joy? What about a skirt I made (but hadn’t worn in years)? It made me feel proud. But was that joy? Or satisfaction masquerading as joy?

I had to take a break. After an episode of Gilmore Girls, I came back refreshed. I plowed through the rest in another 45 minutes. But I kept tripping up on the same things: my makes (though they didn’t still fit).

Originally, I tossed a few dresses and skirts into the bag. If they didn’t fit, they weren’t really joyful, right? After all, I felt a lot of relief getting rid of other clothes that didn’t fit me well. But seeing pieces that I worked really hard on tossed in a bag with old band tees and too-tight skirts felt wrong. Or at least it made me feel really sad. More so than when I released some other old favorites.

Right about this time, Michael came home. I have to give him so much credit, first and foremost because he came home to our bedroom turned upside down and didn’t bat an eye. But he deserves even more credit because I had a meltdown (why do I have so many of these?) about saying goodbye to my handmade clothes. And he just said, “Why don’t you keep them? Even if they’re just examples for yourself?”

That’s when I pulled my favorites out of the bag – two skirts and two dresses. I folded them neatly, KonMari-style, and placed them in a basket in the basement. No, it’s not a perfect solution, but I’m happy with it for the time being.

With those items in a new home, going through the rest of my odds and ends was easy. In the end, I had four garbage bags packed full and ready for Goodwill (not to mention a half garbage bag of unrepairable and worn garments to toss).

Putting It All Back Again

Even though looking at four bags of donations was satisfying, looking at the keep pile was still overwhelming. Time for another Gilmore Girls break. If you are tacking this project, I highly recommend decompressing occasionally. Lighthearted TV, an easy read or a walk would all be welcome.

Returning once again to Clothes Mountain, I developed a bit of a game plan. First, I’d hang up what needed hanging. Then I’d deal with the folding – first basics like shirts and sweaters and then moving onto less regular things like tights.

Hanging clothes was fairly simple. Marie writes in her book that her preference is to fold clothes, but some clothes are happier on hangers – dresses, skirts, things that are light and airy. She also specifies that clothes should be hung rising left to right – meaning the longest dresses on the left and short top on the right.

I followed Marie’s directions as best as my closet would allow. In the end, it looked much nicer visually (to me at least). I was hoping that I’d have a wardrobe with some healthy gaps in it to really show me how much I improved. I didn’t quite get that. Instead I got a closet that was mostly full, though, most importantly, not overstuffed. I’d take it.

The Folding Method That Didn’t Make Me Hate Folding

After a low-key win in the closet, I turned my attention to everything remaining. I’d have to KonMari fold it all? I saw how long it took people to do it on Tidying Up. I figured I’d be there all night.

But after watching a quick YouTube video, I think I got the method down alright. After 90 minutes, everything was folded and put away. I even ended up with one empty drawer! And the rest looked near-picture perfect.

After all that work, being able to pull open a drawer and see everything was a huge reward. No longer would I be surprised by that sweater in the bottom of the drawer. My pajama drawer wouldn’t be overstuffed. All my pants could live in one spot! Getting dressed was easy!

What About Shoes and Bags?

I like my shoes and I like my bags, but I don’t have an outrageous collection of either. Thank goodness because I could not handle another tidying session like the one I did with clothing.

Because the first part of tidying was so exhausting, I admittedly half-assed the bag and shoe part. Or maybe it just felt that way because it didn’t take very long. Going through both took 10 minutes. I filled up an entire bag.

An Unexpected Stumbling Block

Along the way, though, I ran into sentimental items. A lot of them. My closet’s top shelf is apparently prime real estate for mementos of all kinds. High school yearbooks? There up there. Ticket stubs from all the concerts Michael and I saw while dating? They’re old and curled now, but yes, they call the top shelf home. Letters my great-grandma and great-aunt wrote? They’ve got their own shoebox there.

This felt like a pretty big stumbling block to me. Part because I was tempted just to deal with those items right there and then. Part because putting them back on the shelf felt like I wasn’t tidying right but leaving them out as clutter didn’t feel right either. I put them back – just for the time being.

How Does It Feel?

I couldn’t feel better about my drawer situation. It looks so darn good. My closet didn’t provide me with a dramatic transformation, but I’m thinking that’s fine for now.

In general, though, I’m really trying to learn. Pinpointing what sparks joy for me comes and goes, but Marie writes about how you develop this sense more as you go. I’m hoping that comes in subsequent steps.

My biggest takeaway so far, though, is to work methodically and not to rush. Yes, she describes the process as quick, but she clarifies that means about six months. As someone who is more a hare than a tortoise, this is a big lesson. So I’m trying my best to go by the book, to work one section at a time and resist the urge to tidy things before their time.

For me, this is very big since I love working on a handful of projects at once. But I think it’s time I try something new (like slowing down).

• • •

P.S. If you want to see how I really felt in real time, check out my Instagram stories. I was a disaster.

Like most everyone, I got sucked into Marie Kondo’s Tidying Up on Netflix. After a single episode, Michael went through his closet. I cleaned up our kitchen. After the second episode, I bought her book.

I’m still working my way through the process, but the one principle that really help guide my way is visualizing the destination, which Marie writes a lot about.

Before you start getting rid of things, take the time to think this through carefully. This means visualizing the ideal lifestyle you dream of… The whole point in both discarding and keeping things is to be happy.

– Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

What Is Our Dream Lifestyle?

Hoping to get Michael fully on board, I asked him what his picture-perfect version of our home would be so I could combine my vision with his.

His answer: I want our home to be cozy.

I agree with that 100 percent. And I think it’s very achieveable. After all, our home is, at its best, very cozy. Probably the coziest. Physically, our house is comfortable and small. Our sofa is layered with the softest blankets (and, consequently, cats). The light is soft, the living space is open and ready for visitors, though it feels full with just us. And most nooks and crannies are full of mementos that make us nostalgic and happy.

Of course, this cozy vibe is often harshed by clutter – I’m talking mail, laundry, craft supplies. So it’s not always the picture of comfort and warmth. But we try. Maybe after going through the full KonMari method, we could be consistently cozy (or mostly). I feel like coziness, as a goal, is definitely within our grasp.

My Ideal Vision of Our Home

When I asked myself what my ideal lifestyle in my home would be, though, I paused. Yes, absolutely, I want a cozy, comfortable and welcoming home. But what else? A creative space? I mean, sure. A place to entertain? Yes, we like to host parties and get-togethers. A retreat from stress? Yeah, that’d be pretty good. But these didn’t really fit.

But then it hit me. What I really wanted on a practical level was for those things – creating, baking, entertaining – to be easier because – clutter or not – I’m going to do those things. But as it stands now, working on projects and entertaining aren’t really effortless (or at least as easy as they could be).

Baking means having to clean off the counter, dragging the heavy KitchenAid from the closet. Crafting means pushing aside all the coats and digging through drawers. Certainly, those things aren’t that hard, but they weren’t really that easy, not for something fun, at least. It was like my old light table. Sure, it worked fine, but the process of using it made the project – something I should love – a chore.

So this is my goal: To make my hobbies and everyday chores easier and more joyful. This means reconfiguring my home to be more functional. Does that mean that where I store my food and where I keep my cooking gear should swap? Maybe! Does that mean that I have to reorganize the coat/craft closet. Oh, it sure does. Does it mean that I need to sort through everything I own so I can identify what’s really important? Most likely.

And that really doesn’t bother me too much. I’m looking forward to a life where baking is a joy, not a pain in the butt. A life where I manage to keep my craft supplies organized because putting them away is simple and not some outsize task that requires me to rearrange the whole closet.

And with all that stuff working for me on a functional level, maybe I’ll be able to reduce the clutter so I can be ready to entertain or just stay in and be cozy at any time.